So there’s this Tom Waits song which starts off “Friday left me fumblin’ with the blues And it’s hard to win when you always lose…” Yeah, not exactly subtle, but that’s the rub lately. It seems like every time life lets something a little good in, it rears back with its mighty karmic hand and lets lose a slap, a little reminder that my own probability leans more towards loss. I’m like the Keno of feeling blue. So the last few months have left me fumblin’ with the blues.
Most of this stems from hating the office life. My roommate, who has been jockeying an office for longer than I, says it helps to have something to look forward to: friend visiting, a vacation, the weekend, et cetera. I think that’s just terrible. I mean, it’s effective, sure, but at what cost? When does a person to get be who they are? Are we supposed to love our work so much that we don’t mind giving up the plurality of your life to it? Or, is life just bouncing from one distant hope to another, until you can’t wait to retire, can’t wait for your family to visit… then, that’s it. A generation or two passes by and you’re nothing but a few references on backed up websites, a faded picture in an attic, a reference point to a previous reality. I’m not sure that I can accept that. I’m not sure my wiring works that way.
Not like I like the band but there’s a KMFDM lyric which goes along the lines of “all we’re waiting for is something worth waiting for.” Take that for what it’s worth.