So, another new years eve spent alone, drunk, and miserable; another midnight of no girl, no kiss, no hope of reprieve in the year to come; another year of this shit to look forward to… is how I view things. In actuality I ran into two friends, got drunk, made merry, kissed a friend as a joke, and kept myself in pretty good behavior. It’s strange how the form, expectation, and perception of an event can differ from one another so greatly.
Anyway, it’s 2009 and I’ve run out of shit to do. The bars seem pointless now, smokeless and awful; the coffee shops full of bad acoustic acts and sub par poetry; and the diners, which I loved so much, but a distant memory.
It’s 2009 and I have a job which is neither good nor bad, a life lived in the mists of mediocrity, and a social circle forever changing through moves and personality shifts(both theirs and mine). I looked through the PSU graduate catalog, although it would be crippling financially, I can almost work the math out to get myself into a graduate program. But for what? Do I go back to the writing program I left behind, the history program I never followed, the art/film classes I loved so much. Or, do I go back for teaching, something I’ve always had an interest in, and participate in regularly through drunken dissertations on Masonic conspiracy and the newest in astrophysics.
Would school bring about something new and exciting, a positive change in my life? Or would it be another is an ever continuing series of stall tactics, which so far have marked the cycles of my life. I don’t know. All I know is that it’s 2009 and I have no where to go. But, at least I started it off with words… I guess that’s something.
Well, for the optimists in the room, have happy new year. And for the downers, the new year can’t possibly be worse than the last, right?